new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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