if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
