Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize