I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
