sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
