i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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