sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
