hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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