I hate your face
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
