i just google imaged poop.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
