If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
