I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
