In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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