"it" just moved
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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