So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
