i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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