I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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