just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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