in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
