He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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