Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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