what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
