Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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