I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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