i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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