Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
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i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
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Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
where are my eyebrows?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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