what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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