We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
