There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
