saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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