i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!