the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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