Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
