I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
