Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize