At least make sure they are 18
Why
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
