I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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