I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
