its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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