all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
