The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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