he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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