Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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