I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
