respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
