Me too!
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
