Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
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theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
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Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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