you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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