there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I wish life had little blips of pornography
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize