I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
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My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
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But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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