peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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