I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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