He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
