You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
