hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize