Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
