We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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