I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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