If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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