We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
