Me. At least after what I've been through.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
