I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp...herpes.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Randomize