ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
