In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
