After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
