GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
