he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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