Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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