so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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