This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
